Six Ridiculous Things My Teen Said Recently (and they claim we never listen)

Having kids is a crazy adventure that calls for patience, flexibility, and a sense of humor the size of Texas. If you weren’t a yogi before, it may be time to get a mat and a mantra. Seriously! Yoga and a hot cup of strong coffee have to be the best tools in my parenting-a-teen-survival kit. But lucky for me I’ve got this great space to publicize my kid’s ridiculousness.

And no, I DO NOT think my kid is a fool. In fact, he is extremely intelligent and I’m always ready to go ghetto on anyone who’d say otherwise. But since he’s MY kid, I have earned the right to laugh at his antics — for years to come! The same way my mom still laughs at mine, and I at hers.

So here are Six Ridiculous Things My Teen Said Recently: 

1. Mom: “The grass is so long, kid. You should go out and mow it.”

Kid: “Um,  yard work is for farmers, mom.”

A few weeks later…

2. Mom: “Did you notice our grass is long again. Our yard is the worst on the block.”

Kid: “I think our grass is defective, mom. It grows faster than everyone else’s.”  

Duh.

3. Mom: “Get ready for the gym. We’re leaving in a few minutes.”

Kid: “I have to take a shower. Do you think I can go to the gym when I’m sweaty?”

Because the gym is no place for sweaty people.

4. Mom: How could you miss the school bus again?

Kid: “The stupid bus driver keeps coming on time.”

What’s her problem, anyway?

5. Mom: Why must you spend an hour on your hair? It takes me 2 minutes to fix my hair, and it’s 5 x longer than yours.”

Kid: “You have no idea how popular my hair is.”

Apparently, I’m clueless.

6. Mom: How do you do XYZ on this new iPhone?

Kid: OMG, mom, should I get you an iPhone for idiots book?”

Yes, son. And I will throw it in your room so we can never find it again.

Parents, feel free to share your own teen’s ridiculousness in the comments section. And here’s a mantra for you as you navigate the tumultuous teen years.

Mantra: Maybe one day I’ll be as smart as my teen…

20 Comments
  • Silly Mummy
    January 21, 2016

    Haha – brilliant! Loving the popular hair & on time bus. Is the popular hair causing the problem with making the on time bus, by any chance?? I am thrilled to discover that I won’t run out of ridiculous things my children have said to write down once they leave young childhood!

    • Rica Lewis
      January 23, 2016

      Ha ha! Yes, the popular hair does interfere with the bus. Priorities, you know? Thanks for reading and commenting. 😀

    • Anna Palmer
      May 17, 2016

      Can’t wait until you are writing silly things the teen says Lucy…the toddler will grow!

      • Rica Lewis
        May 17, 2016

        Yes, Anna. I can’t wait to read about Silly Mummy’s teens. We’ve got so much to look forward to 🙂

        • Silly Mummy
          May 17, 2016

          The Toddler is going to be ridiculous as a teenager! She’s only just turned 3 & managed to – entirely accidentally – almost quote Scarface at dinner the other night. That on time bus has just made me giggle again.

          • Rica Lewis
            May 17, 2016

            Ha ha! Your toddler is a born entertainer, Silly Mummy!

  • Susannah
    February 29, 2016

    Heehee. This is awesome! Sounds about right. 😉

    • Rica Lewis
      February 29, 2016

      Thanks, Susannah! It’s fun to laugh and them even while they’re laughing at us!

  • Faye
    March 30, 2016

    #3 is my favorite…. and the one about the popular hair. Please tell me we were never like this. Too funny!

    • Rica Lewis
      March 30, 2016

      Sadly, Faye, I think we were! Ha ha. Thanks for stopping in. 🙂

  • Anna Palmer
    May 17, 2016

    I think the popular hair is my favorite part…can you imagine if the hair itself were sweaty? Disaster.

  • Laurie
    May 17, 2016

    Oh yes. I’d love to say some of the ridiculous statements end in their twenties but alas… they go on. Fun post.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 17, 2016

      Thank you Laurie! Glad to know they’ll be entertaining me for years to come. Ha ha

  • Lee Gaitan
    May 17, 2016

    HA! I remember these days. My daughter once called me, asked me to drive over to her new college apartment (about an hour away) to take her shopping for staples. When I got there, I asked if she wanted to go a regular grocery store or Sam’s or what. She responded with a confused, “No, like, J. Crew or Banana Republic.” She meant FASHION staples. Oh dear God!!!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 17, 2016

      Ha ha, Lee. Skinny jeans and cute boots are way more important than food. Isn’t that why college kids eat Ramen noodles every night? Thanks for sharing that!

  • Liv
    May 17, 2016

    Not looking forward to that stage at all. Mine are all still hugs and kisses and tattling on each other.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 18, 2016

      Oh, but it’s so much fun, Liv! The teen years are when the tables turn. Rather than being embarrassed by what your kids say (“Mommy, why is that woman so jiggly?”), you can say things like, “Would your friends like to come inside and see the fungus growing in your room?

  • Leanne
    May 17, 2016

    I LOVE that he has popular hair! All that time spent on his hair instead of the lawn mowing has obviously paid off 🙂

    • Rica Lewis
      May 18, 2016

      Yes it has, Leanne! My grass is long but his hair is crazy cool. I guess it’s a trade off! 🙂

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