Having kids is a crazy adventure that calls for patience, flexibility, and a sense of humor the size of Texas. If you weren’t a yogi before, it may be time to get a mat and a mantra. Seriously! Yoga and a hot cup of strong coffee have to be the best tools in my parenting-a-teen-survival kit. But lucky for me I’ve got this great space to publicize my kid’s ridiculousness.
And no, I DO NOT think my kid is a fool. In fact, he is extremely intelligent and I’m always ready to go ghetto on anyone who’d say otherwise. But since he’s MY kid, I have earned the right to laugh at his antics — for years to come! The same way my mom still laughs at mine, and I at hers.
So here are Six Ridiculous Things My Teen Said Recently:
1. Mom: “The grass is so long, kid. You should go out and mow it.”
Kid: “Um, yard work is for farmers, mom.”
A few weeks later…
2. Mom: “Did you notice our grass is long again. Our yard is the worst on the block.”
Kid: “I think our grass is defective, mom. It grows faster than everyone else’s.”
3. Mom: “Get ready for the gym. We’re leaving in a few minutes.”
Kid: “I have to take a shower. Do you think I can go to the gym when I’m sweaty?”
Because the gym is no place for sweaty people.
4. Mom: How could you miss the school bus again?
Kid: “The stupid bus driver keeps coming on time.”
What’s her problem, anyway?
5. Mom: Why must you spend an hour on your hair? It takes me 2 minutes to fix my hair, and it’s 5 x longer than yours.”
Kid: “You have no idea how popular my hair is.”
Apparently, I’m clueless.
6. Mom: How do you do XYZ on this new iPhone?
Kid: OMG, mom, should I get you an iPhone for idiots book?”
Yes, son. And I will throw it in your room so we can never find it again.
Parents, feel free to share your own teen’s ridiculousness in the comments section. And here’s a mantra for you as you navigate the tumultuous teen years.
Mantra: Maybe one day I’ll be as smart as my teen…