How to Let Your Soul Speak, and Build a Life You Love

Sometimes I think I’m insane. I worry about the ride I’ll take on the ripple of my emotions. “Is it normal to be happy one moment, miserable the next? Is it typical to tell yourself, ‘I got this. I’m just going to get through this’ an hour before you send an email saying, adios, I’m done.”

Those are the questions I asked my dear friend one evening as we chatted in our pajamas. Her degree in social work/coaching experience, inviting eyes, and tell-me-your-troubles tone always puts me in the patient’s seat. So there I was, unloading my emotional baggage, dirty undergarments and all. We sorted through the mess. She assured me I was not at all crazy, and I slept peacefully that evening.

The next morning, I checked in with myself, a steaming mug of coffee in hand and a few good books in my lap. I listened to a Ted Talk and opened my heart to the love notes and safe handling instructions I was sure the universe was attempting to deliver. What I received was this profound message:

Our bodies know what we need. They signal our distress. There’s hunger when we’re famished, thirst when we’re parched, and dissatisfaction when something’s missing from our lives. Why was I feeding my physical body and ignoring the soul?

Those undulating emotions I was trying to wrangle were never going to level. There were needs I was ignoring, soul needs, that didn’t make sense to my logical mind. And so those needs kept bubbling to the surface, like a pot of hot liquid when the temperature’s right.

The Other F Word   

Fine: it’s the other four letter word, and it’s just as profane as the curse word. According to Mel Robbins, author of Stop Saying You’re Fine: The No-BS Guide To Getting What You Want, most of us are constantly hitting the snooze button on our desires. Our resistance to change keeps us in the comfortable confines of our hamster wheels. We’re unhappy with the way things are, but we tell ourselves it’s fine.

We stay stuck in bad marriages, muddle through work we hate, and sleep through our gym sessions. Because it’s easier to be fine than fabulous. The latter takes effort, requires bold moves, and is beyond the ordinary we’re so accustomed to.

So yes, my hair may betray me (I’ve got that mad-scientist look in the morning), but I am not insane. Whew! I’m a human with a whole chemistry set of complex thoughts and emotions. I’ve been told I’m “all over the place.” But I have to believe that’s a compliment. Because at least I’m bad ass enough to get up and move when I’m not comfortable in my seat. Life is fluid, so why should we be stagnant? I’m just trying to find what feels right for me, and that might take some trial and error. So bear with me while I explore this life with all of the wonder and enthusiasm of a child in the park.

It’s Time to Get Real

In a previous post, I humbled myself and told my amazing blog audience that I had been fired. Spelling it out for the World Wide Web felt like standing on a table in a crowded room and pulling off my clothes. There I was, dimpled butt exposed for every eye to see. I’m so glad I decided to bare it all. Because that post was my most popular piece to date. I received emails and social media messages from people I’d never met. What I learned was that honesty is always the best policy.

So let me ask you this: Are you being honest with yourself? Are you listening to the inner nudges of your soul? Or are you feeding yourself the word fine?

Today’s a great day to make sh*t happen. Now is a good time to be happy, to operate in your gifts, and to let your passions off that leash.

Mantra: Today, I give my soul permission to speak, to explore, and to lead me to the life I yearn to live.


Disclaimer: Yoga Mat Monkey (Rica Lewis) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC 
Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for 
sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to When you order 
products by following the suggested links, you help support this blog. Thank you!
  • Aimz Khalid
    November 13, 2015

    Wow ! I too get mixed feelings a lot of times. Maybe Most of the times. Great Articles (Y)

  • Kim
    November 13, 2015

    Fine has become associated with negative connotations, hasn’t it?? Yes, we need to break out of fine into true awesomeness.

  • Brittany Bly
    November 13, 2015

    Yes! This is just what I needed to hear.

  • Miriam
    November 13, 2015

    So true that Fine is the new four letter word

    • Rica Lewis
      November 13, 2015

      YUP! Thanks for stopping in and reading 🙂

  • Tamuria
    November 21, 2015

    I thought that up and down feeling was just menopause :). But seriously I love what you’ve written and it’s very wise. We need to nourish our soul needs but so often neglect that part of us. I love the new F word. 🙂

    • Rica Lewis
      November 21, 2015

      Ha ha, Tamuria! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • Brittany Orie
    February 21, 2016

    Hi Rica! My name is Brittany! I really liked this post, it was very motivational and I’m sure it can (and will!) speak to a lot of souls out here who are just waiting for things to start happening. This tells them not to wait for life, but to live on purpose. Thanks for sharing and honesty is golden. People love those who they can relate to 🙂

    • Rica Lewis
      February 21, 2016

      So nice to meet you, Brittany! Thanks for your encouragement. Glad you stopped in here 😀

  • Sheena
    February 21, 2016

    Don’t know what y’all are talking about, I feel fine! Ha, just kidding. Enjoyed reading. I think we all get caught in the trap of worrying if what we’re feeling is crazy or normal. Truth is, we’re all pretty much the same… that’s why people respond better to truth and vulnerability than they do to fakeness. Thanks for sharing!

    • Rica Lewis
      February 21, 2016

      You nailed it, Shareen! People usually do respond better when we’re real and raw. At least that’s been my experience.

  • Karen
    February 21, 2016

    Love your musings. I agree, I do not say I am fine. It actually drives me crazy when others say that to me. That does not give me any info and I want to know so I started making sure I am expressing my feelings and not covering up. It is liberating.

    • Rica Lewis
      February 21, 2016

      You’re so wise, Karen! Thanks for stopping in here.

  • Talk Less, Say More
    March 16, 2016

    “Our bodies know what we need. They signal our distress. There’s hunger when we’re famished, thirst when we’re parched, and dissatisfaction when something’s missing from our lives. Why was I feeding my physical body and ignoring the soul?”

    ^^^^^ YES!! This is something I KNOW but from time to time, have a hard time REMEMBERING and actually LISTENING to! I’m working on it and getting better day by day!

  • Daniela
    March 16, 2016

    “Most of us are constantly hitting the snooze button on our desires” … oh my gosh!!! That sentence! Is everything! I hate when people say “I’m fine” … “It’s fine” … Definitely adding that book to my reading list 🙂 Sharing your post on my Facebook page too!

  • Liv
    April 16, 2016

    It’s easier to be fine than fabulous. I used to think that too. Then I dumped “fine” and fabulous creeped up when I wasn’t looking.

    • Rica Lewis
      April 17, 2016

      Oh, how cool! Love that Liv! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

  • Lana
    April 19, 2016

    This speaks right to me! I just hit 30 last year, and the older I get, the more I realize that I don’t have to settle for “fine.” You get out of life what you make of it. Thank you for sharing!

  • Dave
    April 19, 2016

    Really enjoyed your post, Rica. When someone says they’re fine it often sounds like a door slamming shut, like a warning not to try opening the door.

    And when I occasionally catch myself saying it, I can feel that in myself, too. That sense of pushing down and squashing some part of myself. That’s a useful sign that I need to look inside and work out what’s going on there.

    I loved your story about losing your job, and how being honest about what was happening opened up such a wealth of support for you.

    • Rica Lewis
      April 19, 2016

      You always have something amazingly insightful to offer, Dave. I do appreciate your comments! Thank you.

  • Ace
    April 19, 2016

    I loved this. I need to feed my soul as well. Hot coffee and love letters sounds perfect.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *