How to Be a Yogi (Humor)

How do we define yoga? Should we call it a religion, an ascetic discipline, a science of movement, a graceful dance? Perhaps we should look to Instagram, where scantily clad yogis arm balance on rocks and selfie on sandy beaches. And while I fully appreciate the art of those images and the confidence, self-discipline and relentless practice that led to the mastery of those asanas, I know that yoga is so much more than all that.

Your yoga is you, my friend — even as you stumble and crash onto your mat, attempting (for the 37th time) to stay focused and in good form.

Yoga is everywhere. It’s every body and every soul. With that said, here’s a humorous poem that’s infused with stereotypes and sarcasm. What else did you expect from this monkey?

 

How to Be a Yogi  

Be powerful, dear yogi

An agent of light

But don’t be too strong

Or society will bite

Be humble, dear yogi

But never be weak

Speak in soft tones

If you must speak

Be prosperous dear yogi

But don’t own too much

Your neighbors will say

Possessions are your crutch  

Be pensive, dear yogi

But have common views

Let what prevails

Become your best muse

Be yogic, dear yogi

And never regress

Strive to be liked

Always say yes

Carry your mat

Wherever you go

Your mission must be

To let the world know

So wear yoga pants

And read Sanskrit books

Think sacred thoughts

Give yogic looks

Master your asana

Drink tea and Tadasana

Greet each new day

With a Namaste
P.S. Bullshit, my friends.

 


30 Comments
  • Tracy
    June 26, 2016

    lol. This is great.

  • Jennifer
    June 27, 2016

    “Be yogic, dear yogi” Through the years, I’ve come to realize that Tadasan is the most advanced pose there is. You never see anyone trying to show that pose on a magazine cover. Better to strain a muscle than strain the ego.

  • Carol Cassara
    June 27, 2016

    Oh seriously funny, Rica! I am sitting here before coffee and you just made my day with this post today!

  • Peggy
    June 27, 2016

    I just loved your PS 🙂

    • Rica Lewis
      June 27, 2016

      Ha ha, I was going to say, “Namaste, bitches” but I thought that would be too much –even for me. Thanks for reading, Peggy!

  • Katie
    June 27, 2016

    Hahahaha! Too good!

  • Alexie
    June 27, 2016

    This made me laugh. It’s great knowing you dont take yourself too seriously xx

    • Rica Lewis
      June 27, 2016

      Thanks, Alexie! Glad I could make you laugh. 🙂

  • April
    June 27, 2016

    Carry your mat

    Wherever you go

    Your mission must be

    To let the world know

    haha! i totally this post! 😀

  • Kirstie Ganobsik
    June 27, 2016

    hahaha – good stuff. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks all those well-posed yoga pics aren’t quite relatable!!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 27, 2016

      Hi Kristie! Well I do love a good yoga pic, but I definitely think that yoga is so much more than Instagram art!

  • Dominee Wyrick
    June 27, 2016

    Hahaha! Namaste, bitches! I love it.

  • Lori
    June 27, 2016

    “Let what prevails become your muse.” I gotta take up yoga!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 27, 2016

      I think you should, Lori! Thanks for reading. 😘

  • Rosemond
    June 27, 2016

    I love it! The many faces of yoga that so many people get so wrong! And love the BS ending my friend!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 27, 2016

      Thanks so much, Rosemond! So glad you enjoyed it! 😀

  • Liv
    June 28, 2016

    I have two mats in my office right now. One for outside yoga, and one for inside. Because yoga. (Yay yoga!)

  • Lee Gaitan
    June 30, 2016

    So clever and HILARIOUS, you little minx!

  • sue
    June 30, 2016

    Great poem Rica thank you for bringing a smile to my face when I really needed it.

  • Silly Mummy
    July 13, 2016

    Haha – love it! I don’t know what a ‘yogic look’ is, but now feel like I need to work on one!

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