Dear Penis Poster: Get a Clue

Warning: This little Yoga Mat Monkey is about to get ape shit angry.

Dear Penis Poster,

You disgust me. You make a little blue vein appear on my forehead; my hot hispanic blood boil beneath my flesh. No, we cannot be friends on Facebook. We cannot exchange sexual favors, as you suggested, and we will never have a sleazy Internet affair. I will not send you pictures of my anatomy, and seeing yours leaves me siding with Lorena Bobbitt, strangely considering her nonsurgical methods. Now there’s a picture I’d like to see — one with you writhing in pain, stripped of your “manhood.” Perhaps then you would understand my position, and how vulnerable and powerless you make all your victims feel.

Yes, we are victims, and here’s why what you did was so wrong:

We know where to find porn, you perverted fool. I am not so obtuse as to believe it ain’t out there. In fact, the World Wide Web is a virtual festival for frolicing naked folk. Have a hankering for hot housewives? Go online. College girls in plaid skirts and ponytails make you hot? Head to the Web. There’s a homemade freak show for every fetish. We know this. And if you don’t mind the crappy lighting, stained couch, and pile of dirty laundry in the corner, you can have a blast watching these online gems. Now don’t go accusing me of endorsing this stuff. I do not. My point is: there is a place for porn, and it’s NOT Facebook. Or at least it wasn’t. I’m not so sure anymore.

You did wrong when you sent me that stomach-churning shot of your erect penis on a shitty mattress. I logged into Facebook hoping to find fluffy kittens, fake smiles, and animal memes that make my heart go pitty-pat. I was looking for a reprieve from my busy work day, a little break from the monotony of mom tasks and household chores. Finding your repulsive picture in my inbox was like opening a box of chocolates and finding worms. You sick f*ck. I did not, do not, and never will want to see that again. Control your impulses. Take a trip to a 24-hour adult store and get yourself some battery operated goodies, a couple of DVDs, and a magazine to stuff beneath your mattress. Have your party at home, and stop sending invites to unsuspecting women. You have a mother, I assume– maybe even a sister. So let me ask you, Mr. Tommy Salami, how would you feel if they opened their inboxes and saw what you sent me?

P.S. This post was a bit rough, I know. My teen told me to take it down. He said, “Girls get these pics all the time, mom. It’s no big deal.” That statement just confirmed that this needed to be said. So there.
Namaste.

50 Comments
  • Anna Palmer
    May 22, 2016

    Excellent lambasting of Tommy Salami. I am not as upset by this as you…we each have different core values that we will take to the mat (see the pun). Always good to post about something that makes you crazy.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 22, 2016

      Hi Anna! I see this gets to me more than most. Perhaps it’s because of abuse I suffered in the past. It’s a more passive form of sexual abuse, in my opinion. If I don’t make it clear that I want this kind of attention, then I don’t. I know some people will think I’m overreacting. But as you said, it’s always good to post about something that makes you crazy! Thanks for reading!

  • Allyson Greene
    May 22, 2016

    Your last paragraph, said it all! Don’t ever take this down it needs to be said over and over!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 22, 2016

      Thank you, Allyson! I did doubt it was appropriate, but that last comment from my teen made it clear this needed to be said. Again, thanks for your support!

  • E J Frost
    May 22, 2016

    Say it, say it again, say it a third time!
    I have no idea why some men think it is appropriate (or funny?) to send pictures of their privates over the internet to women who have not asked for such a “gift.” Like you, if I want to watch porn, there are plenty of places I can find it. I don’t want it in my in-box!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 22, 2016

      Yes, yes, yes! Thanks for saying it, EJ! I’m not a fan of these “gifts” either. So glad you stopped in. 😀

  • Glenda Kruse
    May 23, 2016

    Sorry to hear you receive a disgusting picture in your inbox. This is why I refuse accepting males on my facebook. A lot of them that add you randomly are a bunch of pervs.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      It’s sad but true, Glenda. And when my teen said that it was totally normal for girls to receive this stuff, I knew I had to write about it. It’s unacceptable! Thanks for reading and commenting. I guess you solved the problem for yourself, didn’t you? It’s just unfortunate that you had to take that kind of stand.

  • Jeremy
    May 23, 2016

    A while back my teenager has the same response. that they all do it and it wasn’t a big deal. Needless to say, it led to a talk.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      Good for you Jeremy! I hate that this post sounds a bit bias to women, but it seems that a lot of guys just don’t get how it makes women feel when they receive an unsolicited pic of this nature. It’s one thing if it’s your boyfriend or husband with whom you are intimate, but it’s entirely different when it comes from a stranger. Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad you’re one of the good guys who does not promote this behavior!

  • Jenn
    May 23, 2016

    Definitely keep this post up. Really shocked that guys send girls this kinda stuff. So crazy.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      Thanks, Jenn! Glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate the support. 🙂

  • Mona AlvaradoFrazier
    May 23, 2016

    I agree, it’s disgusting and it is a form of sexual abuse (as in indecent exposure). Teens might get these pics but I’m sure many of them have that icky feeling inside stir up but for whatever reason they nervously laugh it off. Media might have a lot to do with making this ‘acceptable’ and ‘harmless.”
    Good for you for standing up and saying something. Even if your teen disagreed he/she will remember what you demonstrated: It is a big deal and it’s not acceptable.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      Thank you so much for saying that, Mona. It’s a big deal if we make it one. And I do feel we’re entitled to! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • Taylor Mobley
    May 23, 2016

    This ALWAYS needs to be said and you are so right to get upset over it. Nobody needs that shoved in their face. NO ONE. No you, not me, not our friends or our sisters. No woman. I am saddened by your sons reaction, “girls get this all the time”. We shouldn’t have to just accept it as a part of life. I refuse to, anyways.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      You’re right, Taylor. I’m going to read these responses to my son. It always helps when someone besides mom can put things into perspective! Thank you for commenting.

  • JeeYoung
    May 23, 2016

    🙁 seriously!? not okay boys…

  • Gary Mathews
    May 23, 2016

    Why is the male species so damn stupid sometimes? Tommy Salami LOL!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      You should hold a training session for these fools on Internet etiquette, Gary. 😀

  • Roxanne Jones
    May 23, 2016

    Penis posting seems to be the Internet era’s version of guys whacking off in public (I’ll never forget the first time I saw a guy doing it across the tracks in the Boston subway station while he looked at me). Ew. What makes them think we want to see that thing? Rant away…I can’t imaging there’s a woman out there who can’t relate at some level!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      You are so right, Roxanne. Sorry about your experience. That sounds awful! 😪

  • GiGi Eats
    May 23, 2016

    Interestingly enough I have NEVER received a penis picture via TEXT, TWEET, FACEBOOK or EMAIL before in my life! Knocking on wood that I didn’t just jinx it. And when I say WOOD, I do NOT mean penis!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      Lol, Gigi. I wish you a long and full life of penis-free inboxes.

  • Jennifer
    May 23, 2016

    Some might say if you don’t want to see it delete it, but why does any man think it’s ok for him to send a dick pic in the first place? It’s culture. The same culture that says it’s ok to catcall or touch women without permission. The same culture that allows men to rape women and say the women were asking for it by how they dressed. The same culture that allows women to be paid less than men….the same culture that says women are less than….It is so important for teenage girls to learn that this is not acceptable, that they need to respect themselves have the expectation that others will respect them as well.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 23, 2016

      So much YES, Jennifer. I love every line you just wrote. Thank you!

  • Ashley LaMar
    May 23, 2016

    YES!!! This needed to be written.

  • Bethany
    May 23, 2016

    Ugh what is WITH people!?!? I love this post though, it does need to be said and it is a big deal!!!

  • Crystal // Dreams, etc.
    May 23, 2016

    It amazes me that people think this kind of behavior is okay. We need to speak out against this kind of behavior if people think it’s okay, because it’s not.

  • Linda
    May 24, 2016

    I worry about our youth. As a teacher, I see the rise in acceptance of how things are sexualised in the media. We seem to be surrounded by video clips and images that are being seen by children at younger and younger ages. And, the whole ‘sexting’ thing and sending images over phones seems to be continuing to increase despite efforts in the classroom and via school programs to explain the ways in which it can end up being harmful and disrespectful (I teach at primary school level – what’s called elementary in the USA I think). I also worry that the images and high level porn out there are becoming what young adults consider to be ‘normal’ in relationships as they have so much access to it now and it seems expected. I don’t like thinking that some girls come away from it all feeling like they’re expected to behave in a certain way or do certain things….. I see an erosion of boundaries amongst some young females I know. Good on you for speaking your mind and talking to your son about it!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 24, 2016

      Wow, Linda, I’m sure you have seen and heard a lot as a teacher. I applaud you for the tough job you have. I agree with all that you’ve said. Thank you for worrying about our youth. It’s clear we need to! I’m sure you’re a positive influence.

  • Kwame
    May 25, 2016

    I got a penis pic via Google plus a couple months ago. It was nasty and I felt violated. It’s not okay and whether it bothers ppl or not these d-bags need to stop. Or maybe I should send them a pic of my cat’s poop as a thank you.

  • Carol Cassara
    May 26, 2016

    I couldn’t get to it all yesterday so I’m doing a bit of tweeting & sharing and commenting today. Congrats on being featured blogger!

  • Laura McGowan
    May 27, 2016

    “mom, girls get this all the time, it’s not a big deal”
    Wow, chilling words from a child. Actually, it IS a big deal. It’s a big, steaming, revolting, disgusting big deal.

    Great post actually, I truly felt your disgust and misery. It’s like he’s looking into my underwear drawer.

    Gross, girl, just gross.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 27, 2016

      Yes, so gross! Thanks for your supportive comment!

  • Fabiola Rodriguez
    May 29, 2016

    Your daughter is right. Girls and women get this all the time, but she needs to know it is a huge deal. And it’s wrong. It’s wrong for girls to shrug this off as the norm, to believe they have to put up with it, or worse, to believe that they should think it’s funny or (god forbid) flattering. It’s awesome that you’re being outspoken about this because silence is the secret ally of perverts and abusers.

    -Fabi at wonderfabi.wordpress.com

    • Rica Lewis
      May 30, 2016

      What a profound statement about silence, Fabiola. Thanks so much for sharing that with us. I will remember that!

  • Samara Rose
    May 30, 2016

    I found you on Twitter, and do I ever relate! Holy shit, it boggles my mind how much men think we want to see their nasty pics. Or be their personal porn dispenser.

    I am so glad I found you. I’m never leaving

    • Rica Lewis
      May 30, 2016

      Ha! “Personal porn dispenser!” Nice to meet you, Samara. Thanks for reading and commenting. I’ll have to check out your blog to see what else we have in common. 🙂

  • heidi
    May 30, 2016

    That happened to me on twitter. I was just being nice and wham there it is. He actually said I hope you don’t get too hot. I had no words except bye.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 30, 2016

      My god, what nerve! Yuck Yuck Yuck! Sorry you had to deal with that, Heidi! That creepy jerk face. 😪 Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • Carol Cassara
    June 11, 2016

    Ah, the dark side of the internet. How crazy is it that men do this? I don’t get it. like we care about a stranger’s dick. Like women get off on this. How little these kind of men know about women!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 11, 2016

      Right? It’s not just disrespectful, it’s disgusting. Thanks for stopping in, Carol.

  • Bren Pace
    June 11, 2016

    I love this, Rica! You go girl!

    WTF is wrong with people thinking we want to be solicited by their “junk”. It’s sad on FB and G+ that there are so many men sending messages and wanting to “hook up”. Didn’t you read my profile? I’m married, you POS! Ugh! I love your read on this PENIS! LOL

    I’m passing this along so my friends can enjoy it as much as I have!

    Woot! Rock on, girl!

    B

    • Rica Lewis
      June 11, 2016

      Awesome, Bren! Many thanks for reading and sharing. 💓🙏🏼

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