Yesterday, my oldest son called me. It was a comfort call, the kind you make when you need someone to sympathize with you, to tell you the grey clouds will clear and the sun will shine again soon. “I didn’t get the job, mom,” he said. So I gave him the cheer up spiel — the one every mom has rehearsed. “It just feels as though I don’t have control over my life anymore,” he said. To which I replied…
“Control is an illusion, kid. The only thing we really have is this moment.”
We all know this. And yet we continue to schedule our days, toss our meals in the crock pot for tonight’s dinner, and do the best we can with the thought that it will all be okay. We do this until a dreaded call comes, a pink slip appears, or the doctor gives us a discouraging diagnosis. We muddle through until the mud feels like quicksand. So what then?
Let’s hope we remember what we told our sons. Control is an illusion. All we really have is this moment.
That thought can be frightening or freeing. But in my case, it has kept me from ceaseless worry; it has relieved me in knowing that circumstances are temporary. Basically, life is short– for better or worse, so make it good now. Let’s start with a deep, grateful breath and some yogic thoughts…
5 Yoga Thoughts You Should Think Right Now
1. Finding peace within allows me to live in peace with others. In other words, I might be an asshole because I’m aching inside. My internal clutter causes chaos in relationships. I should fix that. Also, I should remember that when someone hurts me, it may just be because they are hurting.
2. Their problems are not necessarily my problems. An amazing woman and former boss once said this to me, and it hit me like a cold hail storm –every possibility pelting me with regret. I could only think of all the burdens I’d carried because I inherently believed that everyone’s problems were mine. I took off my invisible cape that day, stopped trying to save the world, and starting doing what felt right and manageable instead.
3. The most important thing I will do today is love. So you smashed some sales records and got promoted today. You sipped tea with Oprah Winfrey and climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in heels. Yay you. You could have changed the world in a million more subtle ways. Love costs nothing, but changes everything.
4. Comparisons can crush me. More on that here.
5. There are no regrets, only reasons to live differently. Don’t spend your life looking back. You’re not going that way. Instead, let your regrets become reasons to think differently, avoid the same mistakes whenever possible, and appreciate the fact that you’re here now, in whatever state you’re in.
Take what you need from this list, knowing that a single thought can change your mind, your day, and ultimately your life. As I strive to live a more powerful life, I remind myself that what I feed my mind is as important as what I feed my body. Everyday I have the choice: will I feast on fries or fresh, whole foods? Will I focus on light, love, and growth, or will I hang with the cup-half-empty crowd, choosing pessimism over progress?