School is out now and that means my otherwise peaceful home will become a noisy, smelly haven for one oversleeping teen and his guests. There’ll be bickering. You’ll hear shameless teasing — names like Meathead, Captain Sloth, and Brown Bieber, to which my son will reply, “You’re so hilarious, mom.” There will be an odor in the house, that of sweat socks and stacked garbage. And despite the extra hours now available since school let out, there won’t be any time for chores. The grass will grow high; my patience will grow short. So here are 5 methods I’ve come up with to survive summer vacation. If you’re a mom of teens, no matter how yogic, I imagine you’ll need these tips too.
5 Ways to Survive Summer Vacation with Teens
With a water gun, that is. Keep your Super Soaker 2000 cocked and filled at all times. No longer will you have to shout from across the room, “Turn down that damn device” while your teen bobs his head, ear buds intact as he simultaneously listens to his playlist and takes a BuzzFeed quiz on his laptop: What Type of Cheese Are You? Don’t raise your voice. You’re a yogi, remember? Calmly pull out that loaded plastic pistol, aim and shoot. Boom. You have his attention.
Ask for Help
Okay, now I used this one in a previous post, so my apologies for the redundancy. I cannot overstate how effective this method is at clearing a room. Just ask for help with some chore –scrubbing the grout between tiles, cleaning out old closets and drawers. If you need some peace and quiet, just ask for help around the house. Within minutes (or as fast as they can gel their hair and pull on their ripped jeans), you’ll see the front door hit ‘em where the good lord split ‘em.
Invite Your Friends
Why should your teens be the only ones filling the house with obnoxious people who talk too much and don’t know where to toss their beverage bottles and empty potato chip packages? It’s your turn to invite some peeps to the pad. And do me a favor: say things like peeps and pad (they can’t decode the language). This annoys them. Allow your guests to ask your teens questions and comment on how much they’ve grown and how far they’ve come since the days when they openly picked their noses. It’s fun to see your friends and you’ll also be able to use the threat of “having some guests over” on another day when you really just want the house to yourself.
Suggest Summer Camp
Now summer camps are expensive but they’re well worth the money. When my boys were elementary school age, I often sent them to various sports camps and youth group retreats so they could learn how to pitch tents and poop in the woods. You could send your teen off to summer camp somewhere, and that’s a great option for surviving summer vacation, but really there’s no need. Just use your computer skills and a Photoshop application to craft a really great flyer. Hang said flyer on the refrigerator and let your teens know (whenever they get lazy or mouthy) that summer camp is still open for enrollment. See example below…
This one’s just for you, for your sanity and the survival of your family. Take some time to stretch and move on your mat daily — even if it’s just 15 minutes. Breathe deeply, and set a summer survival intention for the day. I’ll be doing the same!
P.S. Naked yoga helps clear the room on days when the teens are intrusive. Just be sure you shut the blinds before your workout.