5 Ways to Survive Summer Vacation with Teens

School is out now and that means my otherwise peaceful home will become a noisy, smelly haven for one oversleeping teen and his guests. There’ll be bickering. You’ll hear shameless teasing — names like Meathead, Captain Sloth, and Brown Bieber, to which my son will reply, “You’re so hilarious, mom.” There will be an odor in the house, that of sweat socks and stacked garbage. And despite the extra hours now available since school let out, there won’t be any time for chores. The grass will grow high; my patience will grow short. So here are 5 methods I’ve come up with to survive summer vacation. If you’re a mom of teens, no matter how yogic, I imagine you’ll need these tips too.

5 Ways to Survive Summer Vacation with Teens

Arm Yourself

With a water gun, that is. Keep your Super Soaker 2000 cocked and filled at all times. No longer will you have to shout from across the room, “Turn down that damn device” while your teen bobs his head, ear buds intact as he simultaneously listens to his playlist and takes a BuzzFeed quiz on his laptop: What Type of Cheese Are You? Don’t raise your voice. You’re a yogi, remember? Calmly pull out that loaded plastic pistol, aim and shoot. Boom. You have his attention.  

Ask for Help

Okay, now I used this one in a previous post, so my apologies for the redundancy. I cannot overstate how effective this method is at clearing a room. Just ask for help with some chore –scrubbing the grout between tiles, cleaning out old closets and drawers. If you need some peace and quiet, just ask for help around the house. Within minutes (or as fast as they can gel their hair and pull on their ripped jeans), you’ll see the front door hit ‘em where the good lord split ‘em. 

Invite Your Friends

Why should your teens be the only ones filling the house with obnoxious people who talk too much and don’t know where to toss their beverage bottles and empty potato chip packages? It’s your turn to invite some peeps to the pad. And do me a favor: say things like peeps and pad (they can’t decode the language). This annoys them. Allow your guests to ask your teens questions and comment on how much they’ve grown and how far they’ve come since the days when they openly picked their noses. It’s fun to see your friends and you’ll also be able to use the threat of “having some guests over” on another day when you really just want the house to yourself.

Suggest Summer Camp

Now summer camps are expensive but they’re well worth the money. When my boys were elementary school age, I often sent them to various sports camps and youth group retreats so they could learn how to pitch tents and poop in the woods. You could send your teen off to summer camp somewhere, and that’s a great option for surviving summer vacation, but really there’s no need. Just use your computer skills and a Photoshop application to craft a really great flyer. Hang said flyer on the refrigerator and let your teens know (whenever they get lazy or mouthy) that summer camp is still open for enrollment. See example below…

A ridiculous post for moms -- purely sarcastic!

Do Yoga

This one’s just for you, for your sanity and the survival of your family. Take some time to stretch and move on your mat daily — even if it’s just 15 minutes. Breathe deeply, and set a summer survival intention for the day. I’ll be doing the same!

P.S. Naked yoga helps clear the room on days when the teens are intrusive. Just be sure you shut the blinds before your workout.

 

38 Comments
  • lori
    May 31, 2016

    I love “ask for help” and “invite your friends.” Why should we be the ones who aren’t having fun over summer vacation? Let’s show those kids that we can have fun too.

    • Rica Lewis
      May 31, 2016

      You’ve got the right idea, Lori! Thanks for reading. 🙂

  • Crazy shenanigans
    May 31, 2016

    Summer camp! Lol this is great

  • Allyson Greene
    May 31, 2016

    Ahahaha I just made the mistake of entering the bog of eternal stench that is my teen son’s room! Another tip to get them out of the house unplug wifi, say it is acting up may be down all day, they will leave for wifi-ery pastures so fast!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 31, 2016

      LOL! Yes, Allyson. I have definitely used that one. Good thinking! Thanks for stopping in and sharing!

  • Lacey
    May 31, 2016

    Haha I love this. I have awhile before I have a teen myself but I remember being a teen and wonder how my parents still loved me all these years after. Haha

    • Rica Lewis
      May 31, 2016

      I wonder the same thing about myself, Lacey! Ha ha. Thanks for stopping in!

  • Chelsea
    May 31, 2016

    LOL. I’m 24 and not too far from the teens myself but I’m already dreading having one in 15+ years. lol

    • Rica Lewis
      May 31, 2016

      Ha ha, Chelsea. I don’t mean to scare you, but you probably should be scared. 🙂 Just kidding! Thanks for reading.

  • Kalliopi Sakellariou
    May 31, 2016

    Ha ha ha loved it. I am not even a mum but I needed a good laugh! The tip with the fake summer camp was amazing! Nice!

    • Rica Lewis
      May 31, 2016

      So glad you enjoyed it, Kalliopi! And what a cool name you have 😎

  • Theresa Bailey
    June 4, 2016

    Hilarious! These are all great ideas. Especially “ask for help” hahaha. My kids would be thrilled with the watergun thing though so I don’t think I can use that.

    • Rica Lewis
      June 4, 2016

      Ha ha, they must not be as concerned about their hair as my teen is, Theresa. Water would mess with his look! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • Silly Mummy
    June 4, 2016

    Haha! Will remember these for the teen years! I particularly like the idea of inviting your own friends round. The flyer alone is amazing, but imagine the money you could make if you actually set up that camp to save parents from their teens. I’m not entirely sure where you would find an experienced squirrel bather to run that activity. But I expect they’re out there. Craigslist??

    • Rica Lewis
      June 4, 2016

      Thank you, Silly Mummy! You’ve got some great ideas and posts yourself!

  • Shann eva
    June 4, 2016

    Hilarious! I’ll have to remember these in a few years when my boys get older. The summer camp one is genius!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 4, 2016

      Ha ha! Glad you liked it, Shann Eva. My son actually helped me come up with those activities. I think he suggested the “Chopping wood!”

  • Christina
    June 4, 2016

    Perfect suggestions! I have to admit I love having my kids home, but if they made the house smell like sweatsocks I wouldn’t be a fan!!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 4, 2016

      I actually do like having my teen around, too. In reality, we’re quite close. I am as sarcastic as I can be! Thanks for reading, Plagued Parent. Glad to see you here. 😀

  • Little B & Me
    June 5, 2016

    Summer is sometimes such a lonely long time!
    Always good to give people ideas x

  • Jessica Bradshaw
    June 5, 2016

    Haha. This is great! These posts always make me laugh. Summer time is when parents always understand how hard it is to be in education. 😉 Love your tips.

  • Lindi Mogale
    June 7, 2016

    I am dreading the teen years i thought my pre teen and toddler were enough work. LOL great article

    • Rica Lewis
      June 7, 2016

      Ha ha, Lindi. Don’t let me scare you. The toddler years were MUCH harder for me. I am actually having a blast with my teen. I only pretend it’s a nightmare. 😉 Thanks for reading!

  • Rosemond
    June 10, 2016

    I”m about to start the fun with a teen thing. Lord help me overcome the sour looks and pouting!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 10, 2016

      Ha ha! Teens are also very good and showing us how little we know, and how nerdy and out of touch we are. Ha ha. Good luck, Rosemond. I cannot wait to read about your adventures!

  • Faye
    June 10, 2016

    Invite your friends – Best. Idea. Ever. Yeah – why should the teens have all the fun? It’s your vacation too.

    • Rica Lewis
      June 10, 2016

      Yes, we need to out number them! Ha ha. Thanks for reading, Faye.

  • heidi
    June 15, 2016

    Teenage boys do smell lol. I have a teen and a twenty something. Really funny. What is a brown beiber?

    • Rica Lewis
      June 15, 2016

      Heidi, Well since you asked, a Brown Bieber is my son— dark hair, dark eyes but he shares Justin Beiner’s cocky attitude and obsession with fashion and his physique. It’s my nickname for my kid when I feel like harassing him! Thanks for reading. 😀

  • Shari Eberts
    June 15, 2016

    These are fabulous. I have tried the one about asking for help with chores and it works like a charm! Have a great summer!

    • Rica Lewis
      June 15, 2016

      Ha ha! Thanks for reading, Shari! Enjoy your summer.

  • Jennifer
    June 15, 2016

    Good luck this summer. I sense a lot of naked yoga days coming up soon

    • Rica Lewis
      June 15, 2016

      Ha ha, Jennifer! Now let’s see if I can walk the talk. Not sure I have the guts…

  • Peggy
    July 7, 2016

    As an empty nester, I can definitely remember when not too long ago there were teenagers in my home. We used to tell our youngest, when he’d say, “I can’t wait to move out,” that we couldn’t wait to have wild monkey sex.

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha 😉

    • Rica Lewis
      July 7, 2016

      Ha ha! I just spit out my coffee. Damn, I love you, Peggy! Perfect come back!

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