5 Things I’ve Decided I’m Too Old For

“A lady never tells her age or weight…” It’s a phrase I never questioned in all the years I’d heard it growing up. It’s something my grandma said, and she’d no doubt heard her own grandmother say it too. They were the legs-crossed, lipstick-in-tact kind of ladies. They were conditioned to believe certain things, as we all are. They were handed a “life script,” and expected to play a role.

Psychologists say most of us spend our lives playing out the roles we fell into in childhood –whether our influences are right, wrong or ridiculously antiquated. We’re products of our environment.

It takes a hella dose of courage to say, “Screw the script. I’ll decide how my life should look.” As I mentioned in a previous post, sometimes we have to ask ourselves: Will this mindset, choice or concept create the happiness I long for?

When it comes to age, what mindset have we adopted? Let’s talk about how scary it is to be a woman growing older, a woman losing her magnetism. They say men “mature” while women get old and “let themselves go.” Society says we should splurge on anti-aging creams, wrinkle serums, and overpriced elixirs. 

Do we even realize that “anti-aging” is a derogatory term? God forbid we’d accept the fact that we cannot stop the clock. Screw the ad campaigns that keep us clinging to the sinking ships of our youth. I refuse to fear the future or deny the inevitable. And when I am older and people start saying things like, “You look great…for your age,” I will promptly raise a shriveled hand to slap them.

When it comes to age, I say numbers only matter if you’re buying booze or collecting social security. Never let age limit you, define you, or force you into a decision that doesn’t feel right for you.

That said, here is my list of The 5 Things I’ve Decided I’m Too Old For..

1. Insecurity

I made it through high school and the first terrifying years of marriage and motherhood. I read all the books, gathered opinions like they were golden tickets, and let fear hold me captive. I’m too old for that shit. I have seen myself do amazing things, and therefore I know I am capable.

2. Comparisons

I’ve talked about this extensively in another post, so I’ll just say this: comparisons can crush us. I have to remind myself regularly that I am uniquely awesome. Healthy competition is good, but it’s important to keep things in perspective. My path is not yours, and that’s cool. That twenty-something with the thigh gap can’t make me feel ugly. She’s hot, but so am I. In fact, we’re both rockin’ our own brand of beautiful.

3. Body Shame

I work out most days. I force down a swamp-like superfoods beverage every morning, and I eat clean most meals. I work hard to stay fit and healthy. But I’ve got these stretch marks on my belly and these dimples on my ass. I used to give a damn. I used to buy the bogus beauty creams and boot camps in a box. But one day I woke up, stroked my imperfect flesh and whispered an apology to my body. “I’m sorry for expecting too much. I not only accept you, I appreciate you.”

4. Excuses

Harriet Thompson ran a San Diego marathon at age 92. Helen Keller was a brilliant author and political activist, despite being deaf and blind. People who do incredible things don’t do this one thing: make excuses. 

Excuses are the language of my fears. It’s time to stop making them. 

5. Bullshit

I’m too old to heed the headlines: How to Dress Over 30. How to Impress a Man. I’ve blindly followed the advice of the “experts,” but age and experience have taught me better. My life means my rules. I’m too old to play Simon Says.

Mantra: Forget “Act your age.” Instead live YOUR life. 


42 Comments
  • Ellen
    July 10, 2016

    Loved it! Awesome post and words I needed to hear now. Thank you.

  • Cassie
    July 10, 2016

    Yes! For all these reasons, I love getting older. Unlike many women I know, I’m embracing aging instead of mourning my youth. I get happier with each year that goes by and I’m certain that the best is yet to come.

    • Rica Lewis
      July 10, 2016

      I feel the same way, Cassie! It’s a shame it took me so long to love where I’m at! Thanks for reading and commenting! 😘

  • Aishwarya Shenolikar
    July 11, 2016

    GirlBoss!!! I think we realise too late not to do any of the above things. If we just ingrain it at an early age, we might have lesser problems! Great going! 🙂

  • Julie
    July 11, 2016

    So. Freakin’. Awesome! I love this! You’re such a great role model. You always share wisdom and have a great perspective on things.

    • Rica Lewis
      July 11, 2016

      What a wonderful and inspiring comment. Thanks so much, Julie!

  • Shann
    July 11, 2016

    I LOVE this!!!! I’m way too old for this stuff too. Body shame was a hard one, but I’ve learned to appreciate mostly everything. I might still be working on the wrinkles 😉

    • Rica Lewis
      July 11, 2016

      Ha ha. I have my moments too where I freak out thinking I’m losing my youth. But then I remember what I’m gaining and that makes it okay. 🙂 Thanks for reading, Shann!

  • Yamuna
    July 11, 2016

    Love this post 🙂 I must admit, I’m afraid of getting older. But I hope that with time I will develop the wisdom and maturity to appreciate everything that comes with it.

    • Rica Lewis
      July 11, 2016

      I think we’re all afraid, Yamuna. I’m sure you’ll get to a place where you can be at peace with aging, and even, as you said, “appreciate everything that comes with it.” Thanks for reading!

  • Crystal Quintero
    July 11, 2016

    I agree. The best part about getting older is finally accepting yourself. Life is to short to worry about what everybody else is doing.

    • Rica Lewis
      July 11, 2016

      Absolutely, Crystal! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. 🙂

  • Gary Mathews
    July 11, 2016

    I thought I was the only one with dimples on my ass! Great post all of us “older” and younger folks should take advice from.

    • Rica Lewis
      July 11, 2016

      Lol, Gary! Thanks for sharing that little tidbit about your ass. I will sleep better tonight with that visual. And thanks for reading, too 🙂

  • Taria Shondell
    July 11, 2016

    I love this!!! You nailed it! I am to old for these things!

  • Jill
    July 11, 2016

    Insecurity and comparisons are still hard ones for me, especially comparisons with the social media boom! I am working on it. Thanks for sharing!

    • Rica Lewis
      July 11, 2016

      Good luck, Jill and thanks so much for reading!

  • Jessica
    July 11, 2016

    I love this! I 100 percent agree with you also, I am just too old for the drama that some people bring.

  • Carol Cassara
    July 13, 2016

    I hear you on comparisons. I ALWAYS think of the Desiderata in that situation: Do not compare yourself with others, always there will be greater and lesser people than you……

    • Rica Lewis
      July 13, 2016

      Such a great thought, Carol! Thanks for sharing that.

  • Linda Hobden
    July 13, 2016

    You’ve hit the nail on the head – especially the bullshit part! And the comparisons! and no excuses! Life is too short!
    😊

    • Rica Lewis
      July 13, 2016

      Thanks, Linda. Now that I have heard your lovely accent, I will read your comments differently! ha ha

  • sue
    July 13, 2016

    Oh I love this Rica (as always). When I first saw the title I thought ‘oh-oh, we are never too old’ but then when I read your post I totally agree. There are some things we are too old for. Thanks for reminding everyone. I’ve posted to my Sizzling Towards Sixty FB page, pinned and tweeted. Have a beautiful day. xx

    • Rica Lewis
      July 13, 2016

      Wonderful, Sue! So glad you enjoyed it and thanks for sharing.

  • Molly Stevens
    July 13, 2016

    Yes Rica! I couldn’t agree more with you. I especially like the resolve to stop comparisons. Someone told me once that comparisons are the root of all unhappiness and while that may be an exaggeration I do believe they are responsible for a lot of grief. I can tell I am in this mode when I start to put myself down and wonder why I am not measuring up to the standard set by someone I perceive as a superstar.

    • Rica Lewis
      July 13, 2016

      Yes! Good points, Molly. It’s human nature to make comparisons, but it’s always an egotistical act.

  • Silly Mummy
    July 13, 2016

    Yes, great advice! Especially love the point about comparisons. So hard to do, but definitely best avoided!

  • Leanne
    July 13, 2016

    Every word of this rings true – I am SO over trying to meet society’s picture of what “beautiful” means and I am more than happy with the woman I am becoming. I said ‘becoming’ because I think there is even more fabulousness in store down the track and I’m ready for it! Loved this post Rica 🙂 x

    • Rica Lewis
      July 14, 2016

      Ha! You are fabulous now, Leanne, but we can always get better. 😀 Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.

  • Fabiola Rodriguez
    July 14, 2016

    I identify with everything you’re saying here. I used to care about a lot of superficial stuff, but now that I’m 40, most of that stuff just seems plain dumb. I used to cringe when I thought about getting older, but honestly now I’m looking forward to it. I feel and look better now than ever before, and I’m also stronger and more confident than I ever was. I wouldn’t trade that for the world!

    • Rica Lewis
      July 14, 2016

      That’s awesome, Fabiola! I feel better than I ever had too. It’s not so bad “aging,” is it? As long as we take the best possible care of ourselves!

  • Rosemond
    July 15, 2016

    Damn it lady you nailed it. I’m going to have to borrow your line. “I”m too old for this shit.” I can think of SO many ways to use it!

  • Mona AlvaradoFrazier
    July 18, 2016

    Damn, that was badass! Thanks for reminding us of some realistic self-care.

    • Rica Lewis
      July 18, 2016

      Well thanks, Mona! So glad you liked the post. 🙂

  • Alexa
    August 16, 2016

    Amen sister! I just turned 47 and love the evolution I see.

    • Rica Lewis
      August 16, 2016

      Ha ha! Happy belated birthday, Alexa! And thanks for reading. 🙂

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