Whether you’re a social butterfly, or a regular recluse, you may have some inadvertent behaviors that automatically turn people off. Before I created this list, I began to think about what makes me avoid a person — what attitudes or habits hinder my relationships. I think it’s important to identify offensive acts, and then examine ourselves to see if we’re unintentionally doing them. The phrase, “Be the change you want to see” comes to mind. So here’s my list of annoyances, my personal compilation of surefire ways to turn people off. Feel free to make your own after reading mine, and use it as a checklist for how to establish and nurture the relationships in your life.
3 Surefire Ways to Turn People Off
- Be Late. They say time is money, so consider yourself a thief when you make others wait. I guarantee you they feel as though they’ve been slighted. If your intention is to gain the upper hand in some interaction, then by all means, be late. But know that you’ll be offending the one who made the effort to be timely, and is now watching the clock.
- Be easily offended. Sometimes we take offense when none is intended. Sure there are people who make underhanded digs to passive aggressively attack us, but that’s not always the case. When others do insult us, remind yourself that life’s too short to entertain ugly. Author and meditation practitioner Light Watkins recommends examining what may be unresolved within you that allowed you to feel offended. Have you been validating your worth by that person’s opinion of you?
Not everyone will like you. And that’s okay. Admittedly, that’s a tough one for me (I’m a Libra). But when people are mean without a cause, I try to find some common ground and understand why our personalities may not mesh. In some cases, people are just abrasive by nature. In other situations, they’re just having a sucky day compliments of life itself. No offense to you. So before you curse and spit, try to dissect the encounter, and see if you can find the cause of the problem. But move on quickly, because again, life is too short and you wouldn’t want to be guilty of #1.
- Be Uninterested. Some of the most lovely people I know are those who listen and remember seemingly minor details about others. They’re the people you bump into at the grocery store, or the ones who pour your coffee at that cafe you frequent. When they see you they ask, “How did your son do on that math test last month?” Or, “Did you ever find the perfect pumps for that party?” Despite all the chaos they encounter daily, they make a point to remember what’s important to you. Now how special does that make you feel? My point: don’t be disinterested in other people’s details. Small things can be big things.
I don’t know about you, but I’d like to be a likeable person. I want to make people feel appreciated and respected, just as I want them to reciprocate that love and energy.
Be Responsible for the Energy You Bring ~ Jill Bolte Taylor
As I’ve said in a previous post, some people make a habit of searching for slights. They have a radar for insults. You may never forge a friendship with those fools, but that doesn’t mean we stop being friendly. Good or bad, attitudes are contagious. The more we sow beauty, the more we will find it in our world.
Now tell me — what turns you off?